follow the Leader

From the beginning.

Doug and I left Spencer at 3:40 Friday afternoon, we made it to Sioux City by 5:15. We picked up Emily and headed south. We stopped in Whiting, Iowa. Sketchy town. I really had to go to the bathroom, that's why we stopped. But, there was a laundromat that was in a tiny white painted brick building with a flickering open sign and a small convenience store/grocery store/gas station/pharmacy where we stopped. It was probably the size of my apartment. I think the entire town stopped in while we were there.

Anyway... We stopped just north of our turn to the interstate for supper. We were still about 4 hours from Bethany and we talked to Kelly, she was just getting into town. She had to wait in the motel room/drive around the small town for 4 hours waiting for us. Nothing too eventful happened until about 20 miles north of the Iowa/Missouri border.

Doug drives fast. I am definitely okay with that because I do too. Well, we were in a construction zone...one lane 55 mph on the interstate following a car going 45. We were getting on his tail and he kept putting on his 4 way flashers. We didn't know why. Well just after we went past a sign that said NO PASSING we decided to drive on the shoulder and pass this dude who was definitely crazy. As soon as we went to the right he started laying on his horn and flashing his brights. He didn't stop. We were gonig about 85 once we got past him and he started to speed up and get on our tail flashing his brights and honking... for TEN miles. I could not believe this dude. Just before that Doug's vehicle had been making some funny noises so we were a little afraid it would stall and the psych dude would kill us. It didn't happen though (HA). We finally made it away from him and across the border. It was about 30 more minutes to Bethany. We pulled in around 10:30.

Kelly had scoped out the town... I wish I could fully explain it to you...But, this will have to do. Here's a map...

There was, thankfully, a WalMart across from our Super 8. I needed to get a swimsuit b/c I didn't bring one and we had a pool. We walked over... No one wanted us there.... a dude kept following us with a broom trying to make us leave faster... it was just odd. The cheapest suit I could find was 3X men's trunks...awesome. ha! We went back to the room, watched some tv, talked for a while and went to bed.

Saturday morning... our room was FREEZING. I actually got up at 7 to take a very hot shower because I couldn't stand it anymore. Soon after, everyone else woke up and I decided it would be genius to turn the heat on... OR NOT. Apparently it hadn't been turned on it a while... our room smelled like fire. So gross. I checked the weather... it was definitely on the same as it was when I packed Thursday night. Forecast: HIGH of 63; 90% chance of thunderstorms ALL day. ...awesome.

We decided to go to Country Kitchen for breakfast, it was pretty good. Then we decided to go to walmart and get some rain gear so we could head out to the concerts. We all got umbrellas or ponchos and sweatpants and stuff and went back to go swimming for a while. We went swimming.... and the hot tub in the hotel only went to 80 degrees!!!!! the woman claimed it was because she just put water in it. Yeah right. It was so cold. We took turns standing next to the hot tub at the shower with the hot water going throwing the hot water in. We got all showered and dressed and ate some Wendy's and went out to the Lifelight grounds.

We got to the road that took us out there and there wasn't a car in sight. Another moment where we thought that if we were in a movie everyone watching would be telling us to just turn around. We should have listened.

We got there as some people were leaving. We had to park in a very muddy field about a mile away from where the bands were. It was thundering, lightening, and SO windy. When we got to the main stage there were 2 other people there... that made 6 once we sat down. Rachelle Hope started playing, she was pretty good... but it was pouring... the sound board tent snapped and blew away, so did the replacement... it was crazy. The best part was Alan Green (the founder of Lifelight) was standing like right by us the entire time we were there. They announced that they were going to put everything on hold until the storm passed. Well, we had seen the radar and we were soaking wet and freezing cold. We decided that we would just go back to the motel. We got back, dried off, warmed up and took a tour around town trying to find a church for Sunday morning. Also... the sun was shining.

We drove around the entire town probably 5 times... Found the church we wanted to go to and went back to the motel. We ordered some Breaddeaux pizza, watched Cell Block 6 (hahah) and went back to the Cold Hot Tub. We made it fun. Afterwards we played some cards, I taught Doug how to shuffle and watched TV and Youtube videos. It was a nice relaxing evening.

To add to it, the pastor had laryngitis. He was a burly probably usually very loud man with a lot of Baptist gusto. Too bad his voice sounded like puberty.

As we were leaving he coughed into his hand, shook ours and told us goodbye.

awesome.

Okay. That's all I think I have to say. If I think of more I'll add more.

If you made it all the way through this you deserve MAJOR PROPS!!

I think I need a nice long cry session...

Florence is in her last hours, my church family is falling apart and I am wondering what will happen to my job...

:(

But... there's stuff going on in my life right now that's so confusing! I'm trying really hard to follow the path God has put in front of me, but it seems as though there are like 5 different paths and He's going to let me choose one. He knows how indecisive I am! A lot depends on the decision made in my church on Sunday. This coming Sunday we're having our vote to stay with or leave the ELCA. I have my own opinions and beliefs, I'm just afraid that the 2/3 needed to pass are on the opposing "side" for lack of a better term. Also... what if the church loses so many members that my job cannot be saved... no matter what happens, people are leaving, and the budget will NEED to change. I'm getting paid on the low end anyway... would that mean that I'd lose full time benefist? would the cut my salary? Will the cut me to part-time? Will the get rid of my job all together? Will I even want to stay? So many questions going through my mind...yet I won't know the answer to ANY of them for at least a few more weeks. Should I start looking for other jobs just in case? I'm so afraid of my future. I went through this place before... 2 years ago. I gave it all to God, told Him to take care of my worries, He did...and it got me here.... but then I was thrilled. Now, I want to give it to Him, I really do.... but for some reason I cannot let go. There's no reason for me to be bearing this on my shoulders, maybe it's because I feel so strongly... or because I love my job...or because I am tied to this building... or because this church (the real definition of church) is my family. Where do I go from here?

I found some pretty great lyrics. The song is "God Will Make This Trial A Blessing"

This is the chorus:

The reason why I don't get close to people or want a boyfriend or whatever is because everyone I get close to hurts me. Like... there are some things in my past that I'm sure make it this way. Things I'll never tell anyone. That's stupid. Maybe someday I'll tell people... but not now. Other things though... breaking up hurts. My brother is constantly tearing me apart and causing me to not want to be around my family. My parents don't understand how much he hurts me so I dont want to be around them either. My friends are only friends with me when other people aren't around. It's been nearly 4 months since someone called me just because. That doesn't mean I want people to start calling me though. It just means I'm the person who's not on your mind until no one is on your mind. blah. I've found myself becoming distant from everyone because if I get close to anyone they're just going to hurt me anyway. It's happening right now with someone I thought I was good friends with here. I was ditched 3 times in the past 2 weeks by one person. It hurts. I'm not putting any effort in anymore with people who aren't willing to put effort in with me anymore. I can only think of TWO people who have made an effort to keep my friendship. Maybe those are the only two I need? Sorry if you read all this. sometimes I just need to clear my mind and this is the only way I know how.