follow the Leader

I think I need a nice long cry session...

Florence is in her last hours, my church family is falling apart and I am wondering what will happen to my job...

:(

But... there's stuff going on in my life right now that's so confusing! I'm trying really hard to follow the path God has put in front of me, but it seems as though there are like 5 different paths and He's going to let me choose one. He knows how indecisive I am! A lot depends on the decision made in my church on Sunday. This coming Sunday we're having our vote to stay with or leave the ELCA. I have my own opinions and beliefs, I'm just afraid that the 2/3 needed to pass are on the opposing "side" for lack of a better term. Also... what if the church loses so many members that my job cannot be saved... no matter what happens, people are leaving, and the budget will NEED to change. I'm getting paid on the low end anyway... would that mean that I'd lose full time benefist? would the cut my salary? Will the cut me to part-time? Will the get rid of my job all together? Will I even want to stay? So many questions going through my mind...yet I won't know the answer to ANY of them for at least a few more weeks. Should I start looking for other jobs just in case? I'm so afraid of my future. I went through this place before... 2 years ago. I gave it all to God, told Him to take care of my worries, He did...and it got me here.... but then I was thrilled. Now, I want to give it to Him, I really do.... but for some reason I cannot let go. There's no reason for me to be bearing this on my shoulders, maybe it's because I feel so strongly... or because I love my job...or because I am tied to this building... or because this church (the real definition of church) is my family. Where do I go from here?

I found some pretty great lyrics. The song is "God Will Make This Trial A Blessing"

This is the chorus: