follow the Leader

Thunderstorms are like my least favorite thing ever.
Right now they are a GREAT reflection on my life.
Today= Mom had pre-op stuff. She's having surgery tomorrow to remove the tumor and some stomach. [Why does her body reject drugs that are made to help? Why can't it just be zapped and disintegrated?] I'm heading up at 4 am (yep in 5 hours) to be with her before the surgery.
Work= I've got 4 videos that need to be done by Friday morning. Tomorrow I'll miss most of the day at work. How will I ever manage to get this all finished. I have tons of filming left to do, and SO much editing after that.
Boys= Hm, maybe I won't get into that one.
Friends= I'm so confused.
Jesus= I miss you, I've been spending less and less time with you... I'm so sorry.
Mom= please, never leave me.
Dad/Pete= I'm sorry we argue... I'm sorry I take all of my stress out on you.

Psalm 107:29
"He calmed the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed"

I hate feeling so alone. I know that there are people all over, but I really feel so broken down and alone, like there is no one who cares. I know that God is here for me, and that he'll always be my TRUE best friend, but how am I supposed to keep on without people here that I can talk to and trust and go to. It just seems like no one has enough time. I know that there are people who care, and I'm just being picky right now, but I'm so hurt that it's hard not to feel that way. Hmph. I wish my mom was healthy. I feel like once she got sick my entire life turned to crap. I need her, I will truly be alone if I lose her. I think it would be great to skip the country, not tell anyone where I'm going and start over, forget the past, and move on. Why doesn't it work that way?